I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
