Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
