mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
