Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
