Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
