she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
