I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My life is pants optional.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
