The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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