Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
