dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
