I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
