White coat. Heels.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
