You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
