OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
