hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
