so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
