Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
