I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I touched a dick in church today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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