So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
