So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
