so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
