So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize