remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
