My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
