no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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