they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
