I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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