Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
