Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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