I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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