$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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