You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize