we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im part way to drunk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
