fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
