It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
