One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
