How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize