No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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