Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
