seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
