either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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