Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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