conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
