:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
