So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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