Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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