....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
