i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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