At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
