so that wasnt chicken after all
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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