Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
