So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
