I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
