Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
