So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize