There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
