i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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