Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
