did you get engaged???
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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