My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
