i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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