Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
