Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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