Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
