He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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