super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Come on in and take your pants off
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