is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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